I wasn't wrong about doing a surrogacy, I was wrong about egg donation. When you donate your eggs, or become an egg donor (also called "ovum donation" or "donor ovum") you are not giving up your children. You are helping another family (or families in some cases) become parents. Yes they are genetically half of you, but that doesn't make them your children. Let me tell you about my journey
I met Lori through this website about 3 years ago. She e-mailed me on Friday October 3, 2003. She said
"Hi Heather! I just visited your web site, and read your surrogacy story. I cried all of the way through it. What a wonderful gift you gave another family!!! I‘m currently in the 2ww after going through IVF with donor eggs. I was “surfing” around the internet, just trying to find something to keep my hopes up, and pass the time. I’m glad that I ran across your web site. It gives me hope that miracles can happen, and continues to show me that angels do exist (like my own donor!).God bless you and your wonderful family! Lori"
She had another egg donor at that time and we just would e-mail back and forth about everything. It started our long road of friendship. Lori & I talked through out the years, but it wasn't until I got pregnant with my daughter that our friendship really hit it off. We started talking about doing a surrogacy together; I told her I would be more than happy to do that after Hailey was born. A few months later she got some wonderful news, she was going to be able to carry. Just needed the right embryos. They did a surgery and fixed what was wrong. Since I couldn't help her out with being a carrier, I offered her the next best thing. I asked her if she wanted an egg donor too. Of course she said yes!!
Lori Knew Diane from an online group, Diane had just lost her daughter in the most horrible way; she was born premature, and passed away three days later. Diane was ready to find another egg donor and put the embryos away for future use. I agreed to become both of their egg donors, and they also chose the same sperm donor. The children would be biological siblings.
We had our first meeting on Monday October 3, 2005. Exactly two years after Lori first e-mailed me. Everything was set up with the clinic and we were just waiting for our cycles to be in sync, Lori started her period first, then me then Diane. We started Meds, and off we were. Diane decided to go ahead and freeze her half of the embryos, and not cycle right then since it didn’t match in with her work schedule, Lori & I were sad that she would get to go through the transfer with us, but we understood.
Finally it was time for me to go through with the retrieval, we got 21 eggs and 19 fertilized. 10 were given to Lori & 9 were given to Diane, 4 of Diane’s were frozen as they were the best ones, and Lori transferred 3. Lori’s Beta was negative L we were all heartbroken, but Lori is an amazing woman and has pushed on. I know she will have another child someday, and it’ll be someday soon!
Please take a look at the scrapbook Lori made for me, Click on the pictures to enlarge them.
